Amber Heard, Robot, by Ellen von Unwerth

At this point, all I remember about Amber Heard is that she came out as a lesbian a few months ago, which most people already knew about (or at least had been speculating about for a while).  I recall thinking that she was smoking hot for a lesbian, which I realize is semi-offensive, but let's face it: many of us picture Rosie O'Donnell when we think of lesbian.  Anyways, the pictures below show a riveting Amber Heard in the Fall 2011 campaign for Guess, which seems to be making somewhat of a resurgence (Guess was huge in the early-mid 90s on the East Coast).  The campaign was photographed by one of the big names in the fashion photography industry: Ellen von Unwerth.  I definitely think that Amber looks better as a brunette, but she's not looking bad here.  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Ellen von Unwerth/Guess

Robot Movie of the Week: Captain America: The First Avenger (July 24 - July 30)

Images courtesy of Paramount Pictures/Marvel Studios

Captain America: The First Avenger is the highly-anticipated latest installment in the onslaught of Marvel Comics-themed movies, of which there have been at least three in the last two months (Thor, X-Men: First Class, and now, Captain America).  Interestingly, before viewing this film I witnessed a preview for The Amazing Spider-Man (the supposed reinterpretation of the Spider-Man franchise, which frankly does not require a reinterpretation/revamp) and I went into Captain America with a face full of scowl, prepared to not only regret dishing out 13 bucks (yes, $13 USD) to see the film, but also to fall asleep as I had been informed when I purchased the ticket that the film was two hours and nineteen minutes long.  In particular, I was irritated that the new director (and screenwriters) of The Amazing Spider-Man felt the need to retell how Peter Parker became Spider-Man, and also felt the need to recast Uncle Ben and Aunt May, but that's a story for a different day.  Let's go back to me being irritated about dishing out so much cash for what I was sure would be a terrible film.  In fact, I left more pleased with the film than I had been with Thor (mostly because I went into that film expecting a heck of a lot from Kenneth Branagh, and ended up with almost a Disney-esque feature), but I still sort of regretted paying that much to see a film: any film.  Indeed, Captain America lived up to all of its expectations.

The present film is not the only film adaptation of the iconic American hero.  I vividly recall seeing the late 70s Captain America film - starring former college football star Reb Brown (who also infamously starred in Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf) on the Sci-Fi Channel, which in my memory has melded with the other Captain America film that was released in the 80s, if I remember correctly.  It goes without saying that prior interpretations of this character set the bar for the present film low, at least in terms of surpassing its predecessors, but conversely, it placed the makers of the present film in an awkward position in which they might feel compelled to blow the ball out of the park with the present film in order to prove that Captain America: The First Avenger was not a fool's errand, but a viable film with room for sequels.  To jump ahead a bit, Captain America is being used as a lead-in for the future Avengers film, which unfortunately imbues the film with an irritating commercial aspect that one should quickly forget.  As we all know, Captain America stars Chris Evans (of Fantastic Four fame), Hugo Weaving, and Tommy Lee Jones.  It also stars stunning British actress Hayley Atwell who I remember very well for her performance in the film version of Brideshead Revisited.

Captain America: The First Avenger is, in many ways, the predictable midsummer family film that critics were anticipating, but it manages to acquire a welcoming quality that makes it more than just the standard fare.  Where Thor was gimmicky and unoriginal with characters that fell flat in the likability category, Captain America manages to successfully tap into the American's love for the underdog to create a memorable film.  Did the film need to be more than two hours long?  Obviously not.  We're talking about a comic book movie here, not Citizen Kane, but they are not painful hours.  Captain America is the tale of "never-say-never" Brooklyn-native Steve Rogers, and his seemingly endless quest to join the American army in the early 1940s, in spite of incessant rejection because of his status as the ubiquitous 90-lb weakling of the era.  A German scientist comes along and takes a liking to Steve and cajoles him into participating in a super-soldier program. It turns out that the application of the program back in Germany by a mad officer named Johan Schmidt leads to the creation of Red Skull, the villain of the film.  Steve is transformed into an American super-soldier called Captain America (clearly) and after a stint as a propagandist for the American military, manages to see action on the European continent.  Meanwhile, Steve has fallen in love with a straight-forward British agent in America service called Officer Carter (played by Atwell); in the end, their love for one another never reaches its natural culmination as Steve ends up trapped in ice for nearly seventy years in a successful attempt to neutralize Red Skull's secret weapon.  This unrequited love and the feelings it inspires (along with the acting) is conceptually the strongest aspect of the film for me.

It goes without saying that there are no robots in Captain America: The First Avenger (this IS a robot blog) and there are not even characters that can be said to conceptually be construed as robots, but I can tackle the issue of pesky American propaganda.  It's interesting.  Even Captain America (though without my cynicism) seems to find the tours that he is roped into performing annoying and the implication that the objectives of the politicians are distinct from the visible message of the tours, that implication is there.  So what does Captain America represent?  He represents freedom and the American way.  In actuality, he represents American strength.  The puny Steve Rogers is transformed from the weak man he once was into someone strong enough to impose the will of the nation he serves on others.  Captain America doesn't go on propaganda tours in Europe to convince Europeans to overthrow their fascist governments and adopt an American form of democracy.  He uses his physical strength to beat up bad guys, neutralize bombs, and restore civil and economic order.  In spite of his derision at being used as propaganda, Captain America as a character, is walking propaganda and it is impossible to dissociate him from that.  Although very predictable, Captain America: The First Avenger was entertaining, and notable for better acting (nice job, Chris Evans) than what one usually encounters in these sorts of films; it is recommended to comic fans everywhere.

Claudia Schiffer, German Robot, On The Cover Of Vogue Germany

Ja.  Ich liebe dieses magazin!  It's Claudia Schiffer, possibly the most robotic model in the history of the modern modeling industry, on the cover of the August issue of Vogue Germany.  Are we sure Claudia Schiffer is not a replicant?  My assignment for next week: compile a list of the most robotic magazine covers of Germany's own Claudia Schiffer!  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Miles Aldridge/Vogue Gemany

Robots With Feathers: Prada Fall 2011 by Steven Meisel

Prada's Fall 2011 campaign has taken flight, thanks to new shots by Steven Meisel.  It looks like the feathers here are actually fur, but the effect is singular and powerful.  It's a shame that the models are so bland; a Jourdan Dunn might have enlivened the shoot.  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Steven Meisel/Prada

Replicant On The Cover of Numero Mag

Daphne Groeneveld is channeling Blade Runner's Pris in this cover for the June/July issue of Numero Mag.  Sorry, slow news day.  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Greg Kadel/Numero Mag

And Pris from Blade Runner, played by the infamous Daryl Hannah

One of my fav robots EVAH

Robots In Vogue Spain

This Spanish photo shoot (snapped by photographer David Vasiljevic) has a Brazilian feel, which makes it pretty awesome.  I guess it's "Spain Week" on this blog!  (via Ohlalamag)

David Vasiljevic/Vogue Spain

Asian Robots In V Magazine, photographed by Victoria Tang

Asian models photographed by Victoria Tang for the Summer 2011 issue of V Magazine.  Actually, Lady Gaga is on the cover, but I'm not posting that because... well, I have issues with the Gaga.  But this spread... is kind of awesome!

Victoria Tang/V Magazine

Black Robots In Brazil (Wish Report)

There has been controversy in the past regarding Black fashion models in Brazil being routinely ignored by the industry there, but one model in particular has garnered a great deal of attention in the last 4-5 years.  She is Emanuela de Paula and she is a stunner.  (via Made in Brazil)

Jacques Dequeker/Wish Report

Eva Green, Swedish Robot, On The Cover of Harper's Bazaar

Alright I just had to post the latest cover of Harper's Bazaar UK because Swedish actress Eva Green looks sickening.  For those out of the loop, "sickening" is a good thing.  A very good thing.  We need more brunettes in Hollyweird!  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Woman Wakes Up From Surgery With Irish Accent

This sounds like a typical case of malfunctioning robot to me, but it seems like a woman from Oregon named Karen Butler sincerely believes that her Irish/British accent only developed after she underwent oral surgery.  The Oregon native allegedly spoke like a typical Oregonian before going under for the dental work. What's fascinating about this is that the accent really sounds authentic: it's not one of those American actor fakey accents.  Analysts are calling this "Foreign Accent Syndrome", which sounds about as legit as "Morning After Shagging Regret Syndrome".  Actually, she sounds like the Scottish maid Mary McEachran from Gosford Park.  Anyways, just watch the video because this story is truly, truly interesting.

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Aline Weber: Robot in Tokyo

Japan is the land of robots so it's no surprise that a robot managed to land in Tokyo and this one's Brazilian: Aline Weber (via Made in Brazil).

Sebastian Kim/Numero Magazine

Taylor Lautner, Robot, Gets His Own Movie: Abduction

I guess this is awesome if you're a Twilight fan.  Only reason I'm posting it is because I was somewhat surprised by how good the trailer was and, basically, how unexpected the storyline that unfolds seems to be.  Then I realized that John Singleton is the director and I wasn't all that surprised because he's a director that knows what he's about.  Anyways, here's a Celebrity Most Likely To Be A Robot alum in the trailer for Abduction!  OMG! Adorbz!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Malfunctioning Robots In Culture Mag Courtesy of Zac Steinic

There's nothing better than malfunctioning robots in the guise of fashion models being captured by the photographer's lens.  The images below come to us courtesy of Zac Steinic and were snapped for the latest issue of Culture.  The models are Rachel Grasso and Jessica Moloney  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Zac Stenic/Culture

Audrina Patridge, Robot, Gets Bongo Billboard On Sunset Boulevard

Audrina is the new face of teeny bopper brand Bongo.  Best quote about Audrina ever: "There's something very striking about her face, something that says: 'the lights are on but nobody's home'."

Clint Brewer/Splash News

Robots On The Cover Of Fiasco Mag April 2011

With the dearth of decent reality television shows on the tube (with [gasp] Jersey Shore and Basketball Wives temporarily on hiatus) it looks like it's back to fashion for the blog.  Below are two of the covers of this month's Fiasco Mag, as well as a gratuitous Ash Stymest photo.  (via Lab Daily Blog)

Damon Baker/Fiasco Mag

Diana Gomez/Fiasco Mag

Kirsten Dunst, Robot, Gets Glazed In Bulgari Ad

Kirsten Dunst for Bulgari by Mert & Marcus.

Kirsten looks slammin' here, but look at that glazed look in her eyes.  And look at the rest of her body.  She's been photoshopped within an inch of her life and the message here is pretty clear.  Obviously, I am not the first to say that the media presents unrealistic images of women that ordinary ladies have to deal with, but it's more than that.  The message is that women should be vacuous, languorous, and skeletal.  Women should be starving to death, weak, and un-emoted, just to match the puerile fantasies of a (probably gay) photographer who takes the picture of the model and then thins it out by about thirty pounds.  Certainly I am a hypocrite here as I have to admit that something about the image is eerily attractive, but give me a break folks.  What's more human than hypocrisy?  (via Fashion Gone Rogue)

Meet Kanye West's New Girlfriend: Kate Upton, Robot

The rumor mill is churning with stories that Kanye West is going out with L.A. model Kate Upton.  This is a big change from Amber Rose and Selita Ebanks (who starred in Kanye's Runaway video).  Of course, there are voices out there saying that this whole rumor is a sham.  We'll probably see more pics of Kanye's... ahem... little Kanye... before we see pics of Kanye and Kate.   Honestly, in the absence of any pics of the two together, it's hard to say if the rumors are true or not.  Frankly, for street cred reasons I don't see Kanye stepping up and claiming Kate here, even if the rumors are true.  I have also heard that Kate is actually going out with actor Sean Faris, which would make more sense than Kanye since Kanye is (A) Crazy, (B) An Opportuninst, (C) Crazy.

Kate Upton is a model and no, I am not naming my source until someone asks me!

Sexbot On The Loose: Kim Cattrall Unleashes On Page Six Reporter

I guess her royalty checks from Big Trouble In Little China stopped coming in.  According to Dlisted, Cattrall unloaded on several doting reporters during the premiere for her new film Meet Monica Velour, about an aging pornstar that becomes a stripper.  She allegedly was inebriated (which she told one of the reporters) and said things like" "Why don't you work at --- What's that news agency?  Roybers?" and "That's a stupid question.  You're a smart girl.  How could you want to write that?"  Frankly I love seeing semi-drunk people acting a mess because in some way it gives them a measure of street credibility.  And they learn from it, too.  Now Kim knows to leave the Bacardi alone before she hits the red carpet.  None of this damages Kim in my book.  I still think she is an amazing sexbot and I cherish the first time I saw the film Mannequin.  The woman deserves respect!

I deserve respect, you stupid gossip columnist!

Amber Rose, Robot, Shows Off Pierced Nipples

SMH.  Amber Rose is not an unattractive girl, but this is not a good look.  For one thing, it looks like she has fish hooks through her nipples, and the bald head is getting a little old.  Obviously, we are all entitled to style ourselves the way that we want, but when someone that is relatively attractive looks this bad... well... the world notices.  Typical malfunctioning robot behavior.  (via Daily Mail)

Awesome Robot Movie Trailer: Yakuza Weapon

So this trailer features a dildo, a man throwing fireworks at people, and a giant sex robot who detaches her head and uses her neck as an automated weapon.  Need I say more?  Maybe not, but I will anyway.  The film is apparently based on a comic by Ken Ishikawa.  Most surprising of all for me is that the Japanese word for Yakuza apparently is not "Yakuza".  Someone correct me if I'm wrong.  (via Topless Robot)