Dannika: "How do I make pancakes, mummy?" Amy: "Well, first you phone your dealer Carlos and then..."
Maybe it's too soon for this but, by now, most of you will have heard that Amy Winehouse was planning on adopting a 10-year old child from the island nation of St. Lucia before her untimely death at age 27. This story is all over the Internets and the TV thingamobobs (and by that I mean the bobblehead newscasters that we are subjected to watching on the news here in New York) and I am not alone in being pretty shocked if this is in fact true. Can anyone picture Amy Winehouse as a mother? The woman could not even take care of herself as evidenced by... basically her entire adult life. I mean, how many dead living things were hanging out in that anachronistic beehive "do" she was sporting? One would have to be out of their mind to entrust the life of a human being to Amy Winehouse, and yes I believe Ms. Winehouse was incredibly talented and yes, I believe that she was taken away from us too soon, but these things certainly do not mean that I am entitled to rewrite the past and say that Amy Winehouse would have been a great parent because that is patently ridiculous. So let's be frank (Frank, put your hand down. I was not referring to you). This beautiful young girl has been saved from a life of indignity by narrowly escaping being adopted by Amy Winehouse. Just because Saint Lucia is a poor country does not necessarily mean that little Dannika Augustine is somehow better off by being carted off to Airstrip One... I mean... the UK. That sounds an awful lot like the slave masters in our very own United States that argued that slaves were better off in bondage than possibly dying in a war or something in Africa. I'm a back to the basics kind of guy. I would love to be frolicking on the savanna in a loin cloth and sporting some gnarly dreds than sitting in Starbucks (after paying more than 4 dollars for a SMALL coffee) trying to explain to myself how being civilized is somehow better than not being civilized. Tangents aside, you better thank your lucky stars, girlfriend. You escaped being the daughter of Amy Winehouse! (via dlisted)
