Only Days After Slutting It Up With Prince William, Jennifer Lopez Announces Divorce

Actually, I was very surprised when I heard this news.  Somehow, I thought that "Jenny from the Block" Jennifer Lopez and chronically-malnourished Mark Anthony would last, but that was only because I was forgetting quite how disreputable J. Lo is.  In fact, it isn't surprising that J. Lo and Mark are getting divorced now since Jenny was seen only two days ago to virtually bulldoze celebrities out of the way to get some quality time with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (AKA Prince William and the former Kate Middleton) during their stopover in Los Angeles as part of their tour of North America.  dlisted (I get all of my news from dlisted now) quoted Mary-Louise Parker (via People) as saying (in response to the question of whether or not she had the opportunity to meet the Duke and Duchess):

"I didn't meet them.  I was shoved out of the way by Jennifer Lopez.  Uh oh.  I shouldn't have said that."

No, Mary-Louise Parker, you shouldn't have.  Don't you know she's called "Jenny from the Block"?  Don't you know what she could do to you?  I mean, if she were to wrap her thighs around the back of your head and rest her buttocks on your neck, you wouldn't last two minutes.  Or if she were to call Jesus and Lupe or one of her other goons from the Bronx...  It's not looking good for you.  Anyways, people are saying that J. Lo was too good for Mark, or that Mark was just a rebound guy after Ben Affleck, or that Mark was jealous of the resurgence of her career.... Yadda, yadda, yadda.  It's all bullshit IMHO.  Mark Anthony is no question more talented than J. Lo, albeit less famous, and (I hate to say this), but when the woman is more successful than the man, that's as much a problem with the woman (thinking she can now do better) than it is with the man (just watch the historic documentary: The Human Animal!).  Now that J. Lo is looking hotter than ever, her face is on TV, and she has the twins she wanted, Mark Anthony is no longer necessary.  Frankly, I think Mark Anthony is a decent looking guy and he can go back to the Miss Universe that J. Lo stole him from.  Keep your head up, Mark!

"Why, yes, Jennifer!  Your navel looks terrific in that dress and the green accentuates your backside.  I agree entirely!  Kate?  Kate, help!"

Kate Middleton Wears Hat In Canada and Prince William's Hairline Is Improving

Hair abounds on the pates of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge

In case you were wondering (be honest), it looks like Prince William, now known as the Duke of Cambridge, may have invested in a hair transplant as his hair seems fuller than it did in the days and weeks leading up to his spring wedding to Kate Middleton, now the Duchess of Cambridge.  The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were in the Great White North for Canada Day (in which everyone that does not live in an igloo thanks their lucky stars that they are not Canadian), among the more notable events of which was the hat that Kate wore.  Also notable were the rather ridiculous groupies that always manage to find themselves at such events as these.  I sincerely hope that Will and Kate did not see the poster below, in which Kate is sort of a hybrid of Julia Louis Dreyfus and Melinda Gates.

Let's be thankful that Will and Kate DO NOT look like this.

Prince Harry and Mike Tindall Get Cozy at Harry's Polo Meet

"Hold me, Mike."  Getty Images

Alright, this is three days old, but I'm just hearing about it so here goes.  On the 19th, Prince Harry's cousin Zara Phillips and her fiance, rugger Mike Tindall, attended one of Harry's polo meets with a bunch of their friends.  It was refreshing to see blue-blooded elite hanging out like ordinary people and having a laugh with their also very ordinary friends, yadda, yadda, yadda, but check out how close Harry and Mike were getting on the polo field.  Is Harry... um... moving on from the vapid and empty-headed Chelsea Davy to his future in-law Mike?  Obviously not, but it's fun to speculate.  Prince Harry seems like the much more fun and interesting prince, at least in comparison to the white bread/balding Prince William.  Alright, here I go on a tangent, but it seems like it was perfect timing for Prince William to marry Kate Middleton now that he has no appeal as a handsome bachelor as he, basically, is no longer handsome.  If Prince William were able to hold on to his looks for a little while longer you could bet bottom dollar that he would not be married right now.  The British Royal PR machine would still be selling Prince William magazines, coasters, bumper stickers, etc. if you could not see Orion at midnight on his scalp.  You can argue with me, but I know I'm right so don't bother.

"Don't let go."

"Oh, Mike.  You know how I do fancy being tickled!"

Now That William's Hitched, Royal Publicists Push Prince Harry To The Forefront

Also known as "Prince Hot Ginge" (thanks for that, dlisted), Prince Henry of Wales has found himself pushed to the forefront of royal headlines now that his elder brother, the Duke of Cambridge, is off the market (and balding).  To be fair, there have always been royal watchers with a special eye for Harry, but it seems that William has fallen off the radar for the most part and Harry has stepped in to the place that his brother occupied formerly.  Now that Harry is getting so much more attention, let's hope that he finds a more suitable girlfriend than the dim-witted Chelsea Davy, and does not make the mistake (again) of wearing Nazi attire to fancy dress parties.  (via The Daily Mail)

Prince Harry on the polo field.

Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, still hasn't resolved his balding situation.

The royal brothers in polo attire.

Prince William and Prince Harry Get Fitted For Their Royal Wedding Uniforms

Prince William, now the Duke of Cambridge, and Prince Harry get fitted by the tailors for Prince William's wedding to Kate Middleton.  Prince Harry is on the right.

Prince Harry is totally checking himself out in the mirror.  Or maybe he's thinking, when do I get my own dukedom?

David Beckham Cleaned Up Nicely For the Royal Wedding

Way to pull out the win, Beckham.  Not a tattoo in sight.  Wouldn't want to give the Queen a fright.  I think I just rhymed.  Sweet!

I wish he would have put the top hat on.

Prince William and Kate Middleton's Royal Invitation

William and Kate's weddign invitation has hit the net for all of us to drool over.  No, I wasn't invited.  But if I were, I think I would wear a "lounge suit".  Sounds fun!