The Marriage of Mike Tindall and Zara Phillips

The wedding of English rugger Mike Tindall and granddaughter of Queen Elizabeth II Zara Phillips was almost completely overshadowed by the presence of the Duchess of Cambridge.  People are talking about her hat, people are talking about the color of her dress: basically people can't seem to shut up about Kate Middleton.  But I have taken a fancy to Zara and Mike so let me quickly say congrats to them.  They seem thoroughly modern and down to Earth (including jacked up pommie teeth and a broken nose) and I love them for it!  Congrats, guys!  Keep wearing blue jeans.

Can't you fade into the background for ONE social event?

Prince Harry and Mike Tindall Get Cozy at Harry's Polo Meet

"Hold me, Mike."  Getty Images

Alright, this is three days old, but I'm just hearing about it so here goes.  On the 19th, Prince Harry's cousin Zara Phillips and her fiance, rugger Mike Tindall, attended one of Harry's polo meets with a bunch of their friends.  It was refreshing to see blue-blooded elite hanging out like ordinary people and having a laugh with their also very ordinary friends, yadda, yadda, yadda, but check out how close Harry and Mike were getting on the polo field.  Is Harry... um... moving on from the vapid and empty-headed Chelsea Davy to his future in-law Mike?  Obviously not, but it's fun to speculate.  Prince Harry seems like the much more fun and interesting prince, at least in comparison to the white bread/balding Prince William.  Alright, here I go on a tangent, but it seems like it was perfect timing for Prince William to marry Kate Middleton now that he has no appeal as a handsome bachelor as he, basically, is no longer handsome.  If Prince William were able to hold on to his looks for a little while longer you could bet bottom dollar that he would not be married right now.  The British Royal PR machine would still be selling Prince William magazines, coasters, bumper stickers, etc. if you could not see Orion at midnight on his scalp.  You can argue with me, but I know I'm right so don't bother.

"Don't let go."

"Oh, Mike.  You know how I do fancy being tickled!"

Princess Anne Tells Future Son-In-Law Mike Tindall To "Get His Nose Sorted"

...before the wedding.  According to the Daily Mail, Queen Elizabeth's only daughter Princess Anne told her future son-in-law, English rugby star Mike Tindall, "to get his nose sorted before the wedding".  Mike Tindall is set to marry Zara Phillips, granddaughter of the Queen, this spring.  As discerned from the photograph below, the 32-year old Mr. Tindall has quite the crooked nose due to nearly two decades of rugby playing.  I don't know.  Often times a crooked nose adds character to a face but that nose defies description.  According to the rag, it sounds like Tindall has no intentions of heeding the advice, despite the protestations of his mother-in-law.  It seems he believes the lady doth "protest too much".

Mike Tindall's nose has lots of... erm... character?