The 10 Reality Shows That Defined Reality Television

"GTL, baby!"

This is a post I am happy to write.  Sometimes writing posts for this blog is like pulling teeth (...or undergoing a sex change operation without anesthesia.  Well, maybe not that bad...), but when I get to look back at all the time I have wasted watching reality television, or science fiction movies, or writing awful poetry and prose... it actually makes me happy.  Let's face it, we live in the generation of reality television.  It's hard to believe that only 18 years ago (back in 1992) Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murphy created reality television as we know it with their iconic series The Real World.  We wouldn't have The Bachelor, The Apprentice, Brain-Damaged Beach Guidos and Guidettes.. I mean Jersey Shore, Big Brother, or any of that other stuff if it weren't for people with names like Heather B, Norman, and Rebecca who decided to live in a house together even though they were seven strangers picked to live in a house...  Because of them, we got to see Paula Abdul act stupid in front of millions of fans, Whitney Houston try desperately to conceal her drug addiction while cackling like a mad woman, Jessica Simpson confused by both buffalo wings AND tuna ("I don't get it.  Is it chicken or is it fish?  Why is it called 'Chicken of the Sea'?").  You get the idea.  It's hard to say if the influence of The Real World was beneficial for human civilization or malign, but all I know is that my life would not have been the same (sad, I know) if it were not for the following ten shows that defined American reality as we know it.


10. My Life On The D List:

"God damn eye doctors fucking with my eyes again!"

9. A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila:

"But what if I already have herpes?  Then everything's fine, right?"

8. Newlyweds with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson:

"Nick, buffalos don't have wings!

7. The Ultimate Fighter:

"Um... I don't know how my hair ended up like this..."

6. The Hills:

"Why can't you just... support me!  You don't live in L.A., you live in the mountains!"

5. Jersey Shore:

Snooki creates her trademark "poof"

4. Being Bobby Brown:

"BOBBBAAAYYY!"

3. Flavor of Love with Flavor Flav:

Flav dissed Tiffany not once, but twice!

2. I Love New York:

Tiffany's revenge.  "Stop lookin' at my tits, Buddha!  I know you want some, but damn!"

1. The Real World:

Heather B in the house!

Kathy Griffin Has A Facelift To Combat Scurvy, Explains All on Gurrl Down

Not really. It's just an awesome analogical attack on Bristol Palin's reasoning behind her chin surgery.  That reminds me, I really should do a piece on the plastic surgery of Kathy Griffin (via omgblog)

Kathy Griffin Is All Over The Old Spice Guy

Kathy Griffin (as some sort of publicity stint) is apparently dating Isaiah Mustafa, the Old Spice dude.  Don't believe it for one minute  Not because she's white (because he previously dated the smokin hot Neve Campbell) but because it just does not seem believable. Maybe he needs cash like the guy Kathy was dating before who stole all of her money.  Then again, Kathy probably just wants to be in the news.  So, congrats, Kathy.  You made it on the HuffPo!