MTV's Teen Wolf Episode 11 Recap: El Werewolf

"Get the tranquilizer gun, sweetie, this Big Bad Wolf looks like a lot of fun!"

I just didn't have the energy to watch a bunch of teenagers and pretend-teenagers try their hardest not to fuck up their lines yesterday so I didn't get around to watching the latest episode of MTV's Teen Wolf until today, before I go to work and try my hardest not to fall asleep in the middle of doing my job.  In last week's episode, Allison and her very butch aunt with the big boobs managed to capture Derek, who like Scott, spends most of his time with his shirt off for some reason (I wonder why?).  Allison has begun to discover the truth: that there are werewolves running around their quaint, storybook Northern California community.  They have captured one of the betas (Derek) and now it is time to go after protagonist Scott.  Meanwhile Scott awakens in the veterinary office where he works (also shirtless).  You get the idea.  And did you know that werewolves, in addition to having a serious problem with silver bullets, also do not like "mountain ash"?  So when the werewolf apocalypse comes, make sure to stock up, unless you are a teenage girl (or a male resident of San Francisco, especially the Castro area) and the idea of being ravished by a werewolf sounds pretty freaking awesome.  Schwing!  And if you were wondering if there is a liberal agenda at work in this show (which I actually don't have a problem with, frankly) there definitely is, for example when Jackson tells Scott and Stiles to "Better yet... screw each other."  O...okay.

"This is my happy face."

"I'll kill you if you set me free.  Set me free."  [A line from a classic novel.  Hint: It rhymes with The Mast Lunicorn]

"Another Gossip Girl marathon!  NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Isn't it time for me to come out of the closet yet?"

"Does it feel good when I touch you there?"

MTV's Teen Wolf Episode 9 Recap: Bite Me, Or I'll Steal Your Girlfriend

"You're putting that probe WHERE?"

That's basically what Jackson (played by Colton Haynes) tells Scott (played by Tyler Posey) when he realizes that Scott is a werewolf.  Prior to that, we get to see a pretty cool scene in which Jackson imagines that a doctor is pulling a vine of wolf's bane (or a bunch of weeds, it wasn't really clear) out of his back, while Jackson lays naked and face down on the examination table.  Oh yes.  The homoeroticism is not over.  Not by a long shot.  Essentially, Jackson realizes that he was attacked by a werewolf (about three episodes ago) and he knows that Scott is a werewolf and he threatens to steal Scott's on-again-off-again girlfriend Allison if Scott does not transform him into a werewolf.  Because becoming a werewolf is just that easy.  While Scott tries to patch things up with Allison (who also is in possession of a necklace, which serves as a clue), there still remains the lingering issue of who the "Alpha" is and what exactly he wants with Scott.  Eventually, the identity of the Alpha is revealed, but you'll have to watch the episode on MTV.com to find out (or just wait until next week's episode)!

"Stiles, if you don't shut up you're going to end up gagged and spread-eagled on the hood of this car, homey!"

"I want a jock that fits, asshole!"

"You mean I don't need a prostate exam?  But... but I was looking forward to it!"

What's with the consistently creepy doctors on these shows?

MTV's Teen Wolf Episode 6 Recap: PMS For Dudes

"I knew having lunch at the Olive Garden was a bad idea!!!"

On MTV's Teen Wolf, protagonist Scott has an "A Ha!" moment when he realizes that "anger" is what precipitates his transformation into a teen wolf.  Duh.  This has been done before, like Bruce Banner in "The Hulk" or He-Man, etc. (actually, I don't remember much about He-Man, but don't question me).  Scott's mentor  Derek believes that Scott's love interest Allison is a distraction and recommends that he stays away from her, but Scott can't seem to keep away.  Meanwhile, Jackson (who was scratched by a werewolf in the last episode and has begun to notice transformations in himself) decides to befriend Scott and Allison, allegedly because he's tired of being a jerk, but Allison suspects an ulterior motive (and it goes without saying that she's probably right).  This motley crew of characters will become even more motley when the identity of the Alpha (the werewolf that bit Scott and likely also Jackson) is revealed.  Is it the ambiguously gay teacher in the dark sunglasses?  Is it the mysterious veterinarian at the local animal hospital who seems to know an awful lot about "mountain lions"?  Is Elton John secretly a member of the cast and looking for young boys to fondle now that married bliss has become less blissful?  Is... forget about it... I'm running out of witty things to say.  Teen Wolf is gayer than ever and I can't stop watching!

"Just admit it, bro.  You don't find me attractive..."

"When the Alpha comes, he better be ready for my eleven inch..."

MTV's Teen Wolf Episode 5 Recap: What Happens In The Locker Room, Stays In The Locker Room

Jackson feels the touch of a werewolf.

If you were wondering if MTV's Teen Wolf could get any gayer (more gay?) than the answer is: "Yes".  There is a shirtless locker room scene, hair-pulling, lots of testosterone, and guys wanting other guys to tell they are attractive.  In this week's episode, lacrosse star Jackson finds himself an unwilling bottom to the town's local werewolf, presumably the same "alpha" that bit protagonist Scott McCall.  Meanwhile, Scott finds out that the girl that he likes is seventeen (a year older than all of the other main characters on the show).  Derek, Scott's werewolf friend, needs to find out what actually happened to Jackson in the video shop (at the beginning of the episode) and corners him in the locker room.  Honestly, all jokes aside, Teen Wolf is not nearly as gay as I suggest with my posts on the subject, but this locker room scene (and the scene that immediately proceeded it) are much gayer than what one might expect in this type of show.  The scene was oddly reminiscent of the Brotherhood series of films (with all of the shirtless jocks, double entendres, and miscellaneous innuendo).  Anyway, the show is heating up and the acting and writing have not slacked off, which is often the case.  Still waiting for one of these guys to come out of the closet.

"If you need a shoulder to cry on, my apartment's right down the street."

"Dude, do you find me attractive?" [He actually said this on the show]

"Now, where did I leave my AXE body spray..."

Teen Wolf Episode 4 Recap: There's So Much Testosterone In These Boys They Have To Be on Steroids

Jackson suspects Derek of being on steroids.

Being a "teen wolf" might be fun if you had a support network consisting of parents that were also wolves, but all Scott, the protagonist of MTV's new series Teen Wolf, has for advice is a brooding wolf named Derek who doesn't know his ass from his elbow.  In this week's episode, Derek is shot with a mysterious bullet by wolf hunters while in pursuit of the alpha wolf, weakening him.  Before nearly passing out in the school parking lot, Derek is cornered by Jackson (played by Colton Haynes), who is convinced that he and Scott must be on steroids.  The combination of all the dudes in the cast and the testosterone reference certainly isn't altering my perception of the show so far ("It's so gay, but it's so good").  Meanwhile, Scott has his own problems to deal with as he and his crush Allison have a study date coming up.  Can he prevent himself from transforming as she puts the moves on him?  Will Scott and Derek find the alpha wolf and clear the suspicions leveled against them?

Jackson knows something is not right with Derek.

MTV's Teen Wolf Cast Bios: Tyler Hoechlin

Tyler Hoechlin as Derek Hale in Teen Wolf

There is an abundance of last names as first names among the cast of MTV's new series Teen Wolf.  There is a Colton, a Dylan, a Holland, and two Tylers: one of which is the subject of this biography, Tyler Hoechlin.  Hoechlin, a native of Corona, California (in Riverside County) got his big break in film with the role of Michael Sullivan, Jr. in 2002's Road To Perdition.  Hoechlin was chosen from over 2000 candidates for the role and was only fourteen when filming began.  Hoechlin, born in 1987, went on land a supporting role in 7th Heaven, one of the longest running family dramas in television history, wrapping up with its eleventh season in 2006.  Hoechlin, an avid baseball player, headed off to Arizona State University on a baseball scholarship in 2005, and also played ball closer to home at UC Irvine, where he transferred in 2007.  According to IMDB.com, Hoechlin was allegedly among the final two actors shortlisted for the role Edward Cullen in Twilight, losing out in the end to Brit Robert Pattinson.

Tyler Lee Hoechlin, standing at 6 feet tall, sticks out among the other members of the cast of Teen Wolf.  For one thing, he appears to be significantly older than the others, even older than his twenty-three years.  His role, as Derek Hale, is dark and sinister and mature, and this is contrasted to the light-hearted high schoolers that he finds himself interacting with on the show.  Indeed, Hoechlin appears more aged than his peers because they all appear particularly young (unlike the thirty-somethings that usually play high-schoolers... cough... 90210... cough).  Derek Hale, as we have seen thus far, has returned to a sleepy town in California to investigate the death of his sister.  Initially, protagonist Scott believes (and with ample reason) that Derek is the werewolf that bit him, but in the third episode Derek reveals that there is a third werewolf around, an "alpha", and that it was this werewolf whose bite transformed Scott.  Derek's suspicious behavior up to this point leaves the veracity of his statements in doubt (in particular, his claim that he is on Scott's side), but it seems readily apparent at this point that there is, in fact, a third werewolf on the prowl and that Scott and Derek may have to team up if this alpha wolf proves to be as strong as his dirty work so far suggests.  At this point, Hoechlin's role as Derek is pretty one dimensional: all it requires is someone tall, dark, and handsome able to appear intermittently serious and sincere.  And I have a sneaking suspicion that Derek may be killed off at some point in the 12-episode first season, but all of that remains to be seen.  Stay tuned, folks.  I know I will be.

Hoechlin has mastered that one "serious look" this role requires.