"I'm Taylor Armstrong and I'm a fucking alien, sweetie!"
No lie. This post would probably be more aptly entitled "The Plastic Surgery of Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Taylor Armstrong" because, as far as obvious plastic surgery goes, this woman (with the possible exception of Jocelyn Wildenstein) takes the cake. She has had so much facial liposuction that the bone contours of her skull are patently obvious. I'm sure kissing her on the cheek would be a pleasant experience, like licking a smiling cheese grater. Taylor has also had the usual rhinoplasties, chin/cheek implants, collagen or silicon lip injections, breast augmentation, eye and brow lifts, and I am willing to bet that she has probably also had Botox. Honestly, I would probably know the answer to that question if I watched the show, but these bitches are so catty (slapping and scratching each other as their huge breasts float on the surface of the pool) that I consider this show to be (gasp) unwatchable. And this from a man that has never walked out on a TV (whatever that means) or a film, except
Seed of Chucky, which has to be the worst film ever made.
"The look I was going for was late 80s alien capitalist chic!"
As soon as I saw a pic of Taylor Armstrong with her husband on
dlisted, I immediately thought of the aliens from John Carpenter's cult classic
They Live. Check out screen grabs
here.
They Live is a film that manages to rail against both the superficiality of television culture and capitalism. My kind of film. Yes, I spend hours and hours watching TV every week and am a complete hypocrite to talk about evil TV culture, but even the Greeks understood that hypocrisy was human. Wasn't it Apollo that said: "One must exercise moderation in all things, including moderation"? Or was that the Bulgarian hedonist cab driver I met in Brooklyn last week? Who knows? Only the plebs remember the details.
