"Wait, I'm a werewolf and I'm counting sheep! That's so... yaaaaawwwwwnnnn... so awesome... yaaaawwwwnnnnn"
I am going to be perfectly honest from the get-go and say that I only watched the first ten minutes of this week's episode because, let's face it, I have better things to do [actually, it's because the wi-fi at the Starbucks I'm sitting at has decided to go the way of the dinosaur]. But, I can basically give a run down of what happened. [Closes eyes and goes into full-blown menopausal clairvoyant trance:] Protagonist Scott is facing another full moon and finds himself in complete werewolf mode yet again.... Fortunately for us viewers, in werewolf mode Scott does not have a burning desire to play basketball in a pair of itty-bitty yellow basketball shorts (I know some of you out there must have seen the original Teen Wolf), but instead likes stalking his girlfriend Allison, who, frankly, looks like she's in her early thirties, as opposed to all of the boys on the show who look... erm... prepubescent. Anyways, I don't know how the show ends because I already told you that this crappy Starbucks internet connection has decided to spend the last 15 minutes buffering the video, but who cares? If you watch the beginning of the show, you'll get to see these young'uns down a bottle of Jack Daniels (which is probably diluted A&W root beer) and pretend to act inebriated. Sorry, boys. I am pretty sure that Paz de la Huerta does a much better "inebriated" than either of you. You need more practice. Why don't you give Heidi a call? It's always "wine o'clock" at the Montag-Pratt house in Los Feliz!
"Crap, I forgot my locker room etiquette! Do I drop the soap ten seconds or fifteen seconds into the shower?"
"Stiles, pass me a towel, will ya?"
"OMG, dude, your wang is so freakin' HUUUGGGEEE!"
