Gay Sexual Tension On MTV's Teen Wolf

Being a teen wolf means that you have to spend most of your time shirtless.  Obviously.

With the success of the Twilight movies, now is the perfect time for a revival of the Teen Wolf phenomenon of the 80s, or at least that is the idea that MTV is banking on with their new series.  This time around, the Teen Wolf, transformed by the bite of a werewolf in the woods, plays the super-cool sport of lacrosse instead of basketball, and this foray into the supernatural stars a kid named Tyler Posey, instead of Michael J. Fox.  And "No", Tyler Posey has no relation to 90s "It Girl" Parker Posey (one can hope, right?).  This series is a lot better than you might expect considering that it is airing on MTV and its target demographic is girls 12-20.  The show tells the tale of Scott McCall, a goofy teenager in California whose life makes a 180 when he is bitten by a werewolf.  He meets an awesome new girl, suddenly becomes good at lacrosse, no longer has asthma, and wakes up shirtless in the woods several times a week.  There is even some kind of gay jock tension between Scott and Jackson, the star of the lacrosse team.  The producers could have taken this a different way (especially since Jackson is played by the now infamous Colton Haynes, the model in resurfaced XY spread from 2006), but we wouldn't want the Parents Television Council throwing a hissy fit like they did over Skins.  Watch the show if you want to find out what else happens.  It's fascinating how good the young actors are and they all have gay porn star names... like Tyler Posey and Colton Haynes!

I hope you realize that thousands of teenage boys are watching this show, MTV.

Skins (U.S. Series) Episode 10 Review: The Crew Reunites

Last night, the series finale of MTV's Skins aired after a rather quick run of ten episodes.  The object of last night's episode was Tony's mute sister Eura, who appeared in perhaps two or three other episodes this season.  The episode got off to a crazy start with Chris exposing himself to a prospective home buyer at Abbud's house.  Abbud and Daisy are still having sloppy sex and everyone is still mad at Tony, for pitting them all against each other.  When Eura tries to patch things up between Tony and Michelle by giving Michelle a letter that Tony wrote, things take a turn for the worse when Eura realizes that the letter is actually for Tea.  Eura disappears and Tony receives cryptic texts on his phone.  Tony goes to Stan for help and, after initially refusing, Stan gets the rest of the crew together and they go off looking for Eura at a rave.  Tony gets into a fight, which stops when the image of Eura suddenly appears on the jumbo screen on stage.  Stan goes to the back and realizes that Eura actually was no kidnapped, but staged the whole thing to get Stan and Tony to be friends again.  Stan, in a rage, goes on stage and starts to sing "Shout" by Tears for Fears with Cadie, which was easily the most unexpected moment of the season.  Tony and Eura go back home with their father, Abbud and Daisy patch things up, and it looks like Stan and Michelle end up together after all.  I hope the show comes back for another season.  It definitely made for amusing television.

Tony sees Eura up on the jumbo screen at the rave

Skins (U.S. Series) Episode 9 Review: Tina's A Sex Offender

Tina Nolan is the 23-year old teacher that Chris Collins has a crush on and has been sleeping with.  For most of the season, it seems that Tina has wanted to end the relationship but never has and during this episode we realize that this is all because Tina just does not want to grow up.  She eats fruit roll-ups while talking to teens in the cafeteria about their problems, she tries to perform oral sex on one of her neighbors in her car, and she admits that she has no friends her own age.  The day that Tina tries to break it off with Chris finally, she comes home to discover that Chris has thrown her a birthday party stocked full with underage kids doing drugs, peeing on her carpet, and having sex.  Tina still cannot manage to pull herself away from Chris and after he kicks everyone out of her apartment, they have sex and are eventually discovered by one of the other teachers who has been stalking Tina.  Tina ends up going to jail for statutory rape, but is released when the police are unable to find corroborating evidence for the charges.  Tina is fired and moves back home with her parents, but not before breaking things off with Chris for good.  I suppose the episode needs some sort of analysis from me.  The thing that the viewer needs to understand about Skins is that it does not try to send a message, but attempts to depict teenage life as it really is (even though, frankly, the plot in each episode is so exaggerated that the impression one is left with is surreality rather than anything else).  Therein lay the problem with the show: because it is so over-the top, Skins fails to achieve its intent of being something like a documentary and seems instead to encourage the sort of behavior it demonstrates.  As an adult obviously I have a filter and can make a decision about which aspects of the show to accept as caricature and not as "cool", but can the same be said for a teenage audience?

Tina looks so innocent, but she's actually a "sex offender".  Go fig.

Skins (U.S. Series) Episode 8 Review: Daisy Loses Her V Card

Daisy Valero is the member of the crew who's the go-to girl for everyone else.  She patches things up between the others when things get crazy and this episode is all about her.  The episode begins with Daisy at work at the awesome/demeaning Busty Bocadillo diner.  The guys turn up for lunch saying that they need Daisy to "fix things".  Daisy calls a "couples counseling" session at school for Abbud and Tea and things are going poorly, until Tony shows up and makes things worse.  Soon after, we discover that Daisy is an incredible trumpet player; she plays the trumpet at a nightclub after school to earn money for a conservatory audition.  Daisy's parents are both musicians but her father has become a bitter and depressed music-hater since his wife (Daisy's mother) left.  When Daisy's younger sister throws a party resulting in their apartment being trashed, Daisy calls in all of her friends for backup (to help her clean).  The next day, Daisy agrees to have sex with Abbud, but when they reach her place, they find Daisy's father there, and he's furious that the expensive family piano he was planning to sell was ruined the night before.  He storms out and Daisy and Abbud have "meaningless sex" in her bed.  After subtly convincing mentally-disturbed Cadie that Stanley is a better match for her than Warren, Daisy goes to her music audition, but leaves before she actually begins to play music because she wants to use the money for something else.  She ends up purchasing a replacement piano for the one that was destroyed and she bonds with her father while they sit on the piano bench. The end!

Skins (U.S. Series) Episode 6 Review: "I'm sorry I gave you the clap"

This was actually a good episode.  The episodes of this show are getting better.  This episode was all about Tony's girl Michelle, who is one of the more interesting characters on the show, albeit the most archetypal.  Michelle thought that things between her and Tony were pretty serious, but eventually realizes that she was wrong.  After going to the doctor to get birth control pills, she ends up getting an impromptu pelvic exam and STD screen.  The principal of the high school tells her that she needs to get her act together, because she's got lots of talent, and not long after that she finds out from the doctor that she has chlamydia.  Michelle flips out and punches Tony in the lunch room giving him a black eye, knowing that he must be sleeping around. Eventually, Michelle realizes that Tea was one of the girls sleeping with Tony when she finds a prescription for Doxycycline that fell out of Tea's purse.  Michelle realizes that she really is in to Stanley and has been since they were nine.  She tries to get into Stanley's pants and he prematurely ejaculates onto her hand by accident.  They joke that Stanley may have just lost his virginity.  Michelle has a showdown with Tea and calls her a "confused lesbian slut", which was flat out hysterical.  Michelle's Mom goes out on a date with their gynecologist (which is the fourth guy she screws in the episode) and Michelle invites over Tony for a Chlamydia swapping session ("We're STD compatible").  Then she tells Tony to get out and that she never wants to see him again.  Next thing we know, Michelle is catching the Chinatown bus to Boston with Tea's girlfriend.

Michelle and her Mom's creepy gynecologist

Skins (US Series) Episode 6 Review

Yeah, I realize this is three days late, but, you know... Well, this week's episode is all about Abbud, the wise-cracking and lovable Muslim in the group.  The gang goes on a field trip to Canada with two of their teachers to experience a place called "High in the Wild", which is some kind of freaky eco-camp.  Of course, while at the camp they try to get high in the wild, but the have to wait for Stanley to... ahem... purge the pot that he stuck up his butt.  Meanwhile, Abbud realizes that he's in love with Tea and he thinks she feels the same way.  The creepy teacher hits a moose in the beginning of the episode and does all kinds of weird things later on like walk around the woods in the nude.  Chris finally manages to hook up with hot teacher Tina.  Abbud walks in on Tea and Tony together and flips out.  He ends up falling off of the giant pole in a fit of anger and gets carried off.  He apologizes to Tea and they both pronounce their mushy and ambiguous teen love for one another.  Awwww.  Then Abbud gets driven off by a possible ax murderer while his friends wave to him.

Abbud gets an inappropriate hug from one of his teachers